Wisdom

I was thinking back to when I was younger that I prayed on my knees every night for wisdom from God. I wasn't even really sure what that would look like and how to know if my prayer was answered (did wise people know they were wise?) After praying earnestly for two years, The Lord let me in on what was happening around me. I had no friends. I was told that I was intimidating due to the "big words" I used. The neighborhood kids did not come to me to hang out. No, they came when they wanted to know something - when they had to make an important choice they would ask "what would you do?" Strange. At first I thought something was wrong with me, I'm not normal, I don't care to do mindless activities or play the dating game until you run out of prospects on the block. Then like the scales falling off I knew my prayers were being answered. I had not arrived at some higher level of learning, God gave me the wisdom a 12 year old girl needed. A desire to know and keep His holy word in the face of all worldly pressures. In fact, I'm not sure I had any scripture references for the small decisions in everyday life but there was a clear knowledge of right and wrong. A love for righteousness and a hatred of evil. Looking back on that time I see this incredible hedge of protection around me, one that I never understood why it was around me and not others. I believe a large part of it was an answer to this prayer.

So what did I do when I saw that God was answering my prayer? I stopped praying for it!! 

A couple years later I thought "sheesh I feel like I'm getting dumber by the minute, what's wrong with me?" Even though I had kept up my reading and school something was missing. Then I remembered to pray for wisdom. 

I say this as an introduction to the continuation of this story this week. Once again I had stopped praying specifically for wisdom for myself, but when I was praying over my children, the importance of it came up again. I began to pray for wisdom for everyone in my household, including myself. This time my prayers were answered immediately. God gave both my husband and myself a ravenous desire to study and learn His truths. From studying His word to watching theological debates, we have been caught up in long theological/philosophical discussions every night starting at dinner and lasting till bed time (and past!). The feeling is akin to a growling stomach who's hunger pangs consumer every thought. I.must.know. We have His revealed word, and he has given me a thirst that is not quenched by anything else!

Now I see. I pray for wisdom, He gives me a desire to know His word, to know Him more, "the fear of The Lord is the beginning of true knowledge..."

Kevin assigned us each a verse from psalm 119 to pray each week. Mine is:

Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. (Psalms 119:35 ESV)

You do not have because you do not ask...